Doesn't Feel Like Home
by QueenReginaSwan
Summary: This a what happens after 3x11 story. Will mainly be In Regina's point of view. Has Snow/Regina/Belle friendship. Will be Swan Queen, includes all characters. Working Title.
1. Corset

_"Were back" Snow sighs._

I turn to face her and see that her hair is long again and that she's wearing her classic white cloak. I then slowly look down at myself and scowl, when I see one of my black Evil Queen outfits because Emma and Henry have changed me and despite the fact that we are all back in the enchanted forest where I can feel how powerful the magic is and the fact that I'm now the most powerful magic being, I'm not going to change back, I don't want to let them down. Even if they don't remember me. Everyone is looking around trying to distinguish where we are in the enchanted forest, except Belle who just standing staring in a daze and Snow who see's me scowl at my clothing and raises an eyebrow, In question.

_I reply "Can't breath"_

I don't know why I said that not because it isn't true but because the reason isn't the corset, despite it being very uncomfortable after not wearing one for 30 years. The reason is because I feel like my heart just has given up, It keeps loving and losing, I've lost the last two people I've ever loved and I never even got to tell Her that I loved her. I don't want people around me to that I'm collapsing from the inside out as i feel trapped around them because if i let my guard down anything could happen but at the same time they are making me feel completely alone, like i always end up being. No one here knows me like Emma and Henry did and no one here is going to want to be around me or get to know and it's all my fault. Slowly as my thoughts grow more erratic I start to feel faint and I try to hide it as I feel guilty and weak, which are two things I am not used to indulging in feeling or want to feel. My quilt intensifies,

_As Belle responds "Yeah, me too"_

Snow looks at both Belle and I, and I see an expression that must match my own as she adds

_her two cents. "Yer, I hate these damn corsets"_

I feel a little less alone as Belle and Snow second my misery because, misery loves company.

* * *

**AN: This wouldn't leave my mind, so now I'm doing an after 3x11 story because my mind won't shut up. I feel like I'll mainly be focusing on these three but will see what my mind and heart agree on as the story continues. **

**Ps: sorry for any mistakes I couldn't get the scene to be like how i pictured it in my head**


	2. Getting Space

**an/ ignore which people go where im just getting belle,snow and regina seperate, its short because it ended nicely. :)**

* * *

I try to compose myself enough to find a way to get enough space from the suffocating group. Before speaking up to give of us a plan to stop standing around like a much of idiots.

_"Okay, so we can stand her looking like lost puppies or we can look for a way to..."_

I paused thinking of what kind of state Snow's castle would be and decided that I'm sure mine would be in a better state.

_... my castle as I'm not sure what state Snow's will be in."_

I look at Snow trying to communicate the words I'm not sure I can ever picture myself saying. All she does is give a small smile and a slight nod.

_"How about half the dwarfs go north and the other half go south. While Snow,Belle and myself go East and then everyone else go west. Come back if you see it or after about an hour..."_

I pause again thinking about if I'm being too controlling, so then add

_"If everyone thinks that a good idea?"_

Charming then of course looks to Snow for an answer and I give a small smile as she sighs in exasperation and then says in a slightly snappy tone.

_"No one else has a better plan? No. Okay then, everyone head on then."_

Everyone slowly turns and walks off in their different directions, Snow, Belle and I watch them leave. All of us obviously waiting for the second we can let our masks fade.


	3. 3's not a Crowd when in Misery

**AN: Im sorry if there's any obvious mistakes I actually started crying while writing this.**

* * *

As soon as everyone is out of site, I pull of the stupid black feathers and through them on the ground. Belle's face crumples into one of utter brokenness one that I know all too well. Snow looks at me her face grumbled and I don't want to sound bitter or not understanding of her pain, and she doesn't know that I've lost not only a child but possible my second chance at true love, but it comes out before my brain has time to process it.

_"At least you still have charming."_

Snow gives me a pitying look and I try to glare back but it falls flat, because what's the point in masks, I have nothing and I will always have nothing.

_"Regina?"_

She sighs in question.

_"I don't want to be her, but what do I have?"_

I try to stop the tears from falling but am unsuccessful

_"And now I'm the most powerful but I not want the power, I want family and I'll continue to walk the lonely road like I've done since you came into my life. But you know what?"_

Asking her a question so I can take a breath and get my jumbled thoughts together. But she comes back with an answer faster than I expected.

_"I know that despite all the times you had to kill me from when I was a little girl to now, you never took any of them, you sent other people to try and kill me but never once did you, sure you poisoned me and cursed everyone, but I do know what you could never kill me because you cared but your anger was all you had and you needed to aim it at someone and that someone was me because you never could blame your mother as you always wanted to believe that she was doing everything for you not for power. But then you truly knew that I wasn't to blame…"_

I cut her off.

_"Yes anger was all I had and yes I cared about you Snow do you not remember I brought you up from the tender age of ten and I brought you up with love but I was, I am broken and I will always be broken. Daniel was all I had and I lost him, then I had you but I pushed you away, then I kil-lost my father and that was all my fault"_

Slowly I get more hysterical as I continue and slowly I'm a crying babbling mess and I can't stop the tears or the words.

_"and then I lost my mother just as I got her back and that one was all your fault, but then i forgave you not that I ever said anything. I've changed I have changed but then the world decides Villains can't change and I loss Rumple, not that i'm saying my pain is worse than Belle's because Belle I know what you're going through and I'm not saying it gets better but take it from someone who grieved the wrong way, take your time to grieve lean on everyone for support rather than pushing away them all away, then learn how to cope in your own way, I did I just choose the wrong way"_

Belle looks up from where she had collapsed on the forest floor and gives a small smile, and then asks quietly.

_"I know this may sound strange for me to ask you, but will you help me"_

I walk over from where she's on the ground and bring her to a log on the ground of to the right of me and signal for Snow to join us.

_" This pains me to say because I feel like I deserve to be alone and I'm most likely making assumptions but I think all three of us may all need each other" _


End file.
